Jennifer Hawkins

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Where Janet Jackson may have had a "wardrobe malfunction" on purpose, Miss Universe 2004's Jennifer Hawkins had no intentions of stepping out onto a Sydney Fashion Show runway in Australia last night without the lower half of her Bora dress.

On the heels of the Olympics, we and the rest of the world are giving Ms. Hawkins a "10" for courage and poise after the heel of her stiletto caused the twenty year-old Australian rugby league cheerleader to lose her seven-kilogram metallic lace dress on the catwalk.

Gracefully, she turned and walked off the stage, showing her red "Bond" thong and toosh.

Today, headlines around the world include: "Miss Universe Suffers Wardrobe Malfunction" , "Moon Dance: Miss Universe Loses Her Skirt" , "Jennifer Hawkins Thong-Gate" , "The 'Thong' View of Miss Universe" , "Cheap Thrills As Jen Goes Undie-Cover" , "Miss Universe's Dress Goes Thong" , "Cheeky Slip-Up for Miss Universe" , "Miss Universe Gets Maximum Exposure" and my favourite from The Learning Channel, "Miss Universe Bares Assets."

"I was walking along in a Bora dress and the bottom just came off," she said later in a television interview. "It was just a pity I wasn't wearing better panties."

The Reg Grundies "Every-Girl Bonds hipster G-string" thong cost her $5.99. The dress: $15,000.

"They're just Bonds undies," Hawkins said at her Newcastle homecoming.

If I were a thong maker (Hanky Panky, Cosabella, Chantelle, Lejaby Bohemian Jewel string or the makers of those she wishes she had been wearing), I would get right on this opportunity to make Miss Hawkins a spokesperson for my company. Jennifer, if you're listening, please tell us which thong you would have worn had you known...and if that was not bad enough, she fell down a flight of stairs today.